Re-Defining Success
It’s 6:40am and the stadium lights have just come on. While the faint orange glow from the rising sun slowly increases its command of the dark sky, the crisp air bites at exposed skin and frost still clings stubbornly to the field turf. Because classes don’t start until 9am, we find ourselves all alone on this sacred ground, making connections with one another using the ball as our common gift, as a blessing to be shared amongst us. The morning’s session has been pondered over and planned down to the minute and it even allows for music, which will be blasted from a portable speaker during certain periods of play. As with every training, the most beautiful sight is seeing the players out early and getting touches on the ball, the clearest indication that they can’t wait to get started.
Every practice is an opportunity to refine our habits and our communication within our style of play. In every exercise, each athlete is tasked with reading situations, determining what the best course of action should be, and executing the idea in their heads. Looking at the kids, we (my assistant and I) can’t help but feel a healthy tinge of envy, because we know full well the immense joy of being a young soccer player. Through the creation of an exceptional learning environment, we strive to make sure their time with us is valuable on these cold mornings as we prepare them for the tests ahead. We realize that the games to come are not the only—and certainly not the most important—challenges in their young lives. So it is with the spirit of holistic development that we demand them to refine their habits and their communication within a life style that just happens to have football as a positive source of engagement.
Guiding players towards a greater understanding and ownership of the game is my life’s passion, it’s why I get excited for these early gatherings under the lights as the surrounding community begins to wake up. And yet, I’m constantly reflecting on my role in their lives for fear of letting them down or not being able to provide what they really need. Leadership can be positive or detrimental depending on a variety of factors and all I can do each morning is attempt to embody the former. Recently, I was asked by a friend to list 5 characteristics that I considered to be important qualities for an ideal manager or leader to possess. After some thought, I settled on the following working list, which was influenced by my understanding of history, my passion for soccer, and by the leaders in my own life who I have the utmost respect and admiration for.
My (working) list of 5 characteristics for great leadership:
Awareness – I believe good leadership is predicated on knowing what’s going on in order to be part of creating a better reality. Being able to read a situation and anticipate potential issues can literally save lives and it is crucial in any setting when other people are looking to you for guidance. For example, as a form of leadership, when teaching is done properly its aim should always be the personal emancipation of the learner from a previous condition of dependency or incompetence. This requires an understanding (awareness) from the educator of what the student’s strengths and weaknesses are in order to better track their progress towards independent mastery. Leaders pay attention and seek to understand.
Curiosity – Learning is such a valuable skill and, while people certainly process and absorb information differently, there is a spark of energy that is created and harnessed by folks who actively seek out fresh sources of knowledge. The world is so vast and there is so much to be gleaned from a wide range of people and a variety of disciplines. Because our lives are inextricably interrelated with other humans and other life forms in remarkable ways, the failure to open our minds can only serve to cut us off from amazing experiences. Leaders are constantly learning and seeking new challenges.
Conviction – Belief is such a powerful force and one only has to look to religion, any religion, to see the incredible force of a story on people’s lives. It is perhaps the most prominent example of the persuasiveness that leaders can have when they appear to have supreme confidence in their own methods. Nonetheless, it goes without saying that if a leader doesn’t actually believe what they are preaching—or at the very least make an incredibly convincing show of it—then it is highly unlikely that they will inspire others towards a common pursuit. Leaders have a strong inner voice and it allows their vision to permeate through those around them.
Accountability – When things go wrong or stuff just needs to get done, true leaders stand up to be counted. They realize that even in those instances when someone else was directly responsible for an injury or mistake, their position and character require that they also share the burden of fixing what has been broken. This is a task that true leaders accept with grace and pride. In some amazing high performance cultures, such as with the legendary rugby team the All Blacks from New Zealand, it is considered an honor for the members of the team—most notably the senior members—to clean up after themselves in their locker room. They call it sweeping the sheds, and it is part of what makes their environment so special. Leaders take initiative, take responsibility, and are proud to enhance the well being of others.
Humility – At its core, being humble isn’t about meekness or diminishing one’s talents in order to make others feel comfortable. Rather, it’s about recognizing and affirming the brilliance of others while simultaneously striving to be the best possible version of one’s self. In this sense, humility means embracing the idea that regardless of our station or perceived knowledge, in the eyes of a vast and awesome universe we have the same human worth as anybody else on Earth. It means being willing to be accountable to those around you. True leaders are able to stand with conviction in a complex and chaotic world with happiness when others shine without feeling like their own light is diminished as a result.
In the process of making this list and thinking about the concept of leadership, the game of soccer, and reflecting on some of my recent practice sessions, I realized just how much of life (and relationships) is a process of zooming in and zooming out, of grabbing hold and letting go. Using the game as a guide, we can see that players are constantly tasked with zooming their focus in on the ball and its immediate surroundings and then zooming out in order to see the larger picture of the field, to re-define or re-calibrate the possible solutions available to them. This process is perpetual and it is the principle cognitive exercise in a football match. The ultimate desired action on a field, scoring a goal, is in itself a process of letting go. A player’s body may cross the goal line but it won’t count as a point. Only when the entire ball is dispatched across the line will there be cause for celebration. To score, of course it is important that we teach kids how to strike a ball with pace and accuracy. But if our mission is greater than that, if it is to develop thinking players, then perhaps we first ought to teach them how to zoom their focus in and zoom it out again so they can anticipate the future. We should teach them to grab hold of and cherish each moment, and we should make sure our children understand the value of letting go, of being in service to and in solidarity with others. If we are diligent and patient throughout, then on the playing field the result might be that they begin to zoom out their vision in order to recognize when to make their run behind the defense, to zoom in on the angle of the onrushing goalkeeper, to grab hold of this moment in time and focus calmly on their task, and then to let the ball go at the opportune moment, using the most effective surface of their choice in order to deliver the ball into paradise before wheeling away to celebrate with their teammates.
As we go through our lives we sometimes find ourselves with incredible opportunities to grab hold of and often our success depends on the habits and practices—or even the inhibitions—which we are willing to let go of. There is that dance again. Grabbing hold, letting go. In this way, we move through the world and are forced to re-define ideas and concepts that no longer mesh with the reality and complexity of our condition. As a soccer coach working primarily with young players, this is how I’ve come to re-define the concept of success for myself. Success for me means developing people with the leadership attributes listed above. It means implementing a style of play and stepping back to see how the athletes express themselves within it. Then I zoom back in and refine habits before stepping out again. I used to believe that I could help players get better by showing them how to control a ball. Then I zoomed out and began to show them how to read the game. I used to seek to grab hold of every group and inspire them to play in my image. Then I let go of my image in order to see how the group plays. Success for me used to be watching my teams win while playing “good” soccer. Now it means developing leaders who are capable of discovering what the game is asking from them both individually and as a collective. This is a life-long dance, a journey to build community through the pursuit of excellence in a sport that, at its core, is about the process of letting go and re-defining.
