Training the Soul
“Herein lies the tragedy of the age: not that men are poor, — all men know something of poverty; not that men are wicked, — who is good? not that men are ignorant, — what is Truth? Nay, but that men know so little of men.”
― W.E.B. Du Bois, The Souls of Black Folk
On Thursday, June 15, The Rising Point wrapped up our morning futsal sessions at Orca K-8 School, completing an awesome experience with some incredible kids. Several months ago, not long after we started the classes, what became clear to us was that soccer wasn’t really what we were coaching. Or rather, it’s certainly not all we were teaching. As educators, there is always something else, something bigger and far more essential that we are tasked with building. We could see it in the faces and the actions of the kids who would come to school an hour and a half early to play in a gym that is barely big enough to accommodate 4 on 4 games between 2nd graders.
Anyone who has spent time teaching anything to anybody—especially if they work with young children—will understand that when we teach, we really aren’t coaching the subject specifically. Rather, we’re developing human beings through the activity we’ve engaged them in. So what is it that we’re actually working on with people? Some call it character; others may call it heart. Perhaps it’s not a stretch to call it soul. Regardless of diverse spiritual beliefs and feelings, what is universally recognizable in living things is this internal energy source that shapes our thoughts and actions. Like our hands and our feet, we can train our souls. As individuals we can learn to have a more open, honest, and powerful spirit because we can see—which means that we can correct—the behaviors emanating from our heart and mind.
It is precisely in a group setting, such as a classroom or a sports team, that we can see individual as well as collective soul. Homo Sapiens are social animals; our souls come alive from interaction with others. For example, on the soccer field, whenever we emphasize knowledge of one’s surroundings and appreciation for the space and agency of others, we are developing soul. When we teach different players how they might cooperate with one another from their respective positions, and we develop a culture of group celebration, and we emphasize unity even in defeat, we are training awareness, empathy, and compassion. When each member of the squad feels included and can rejoice unselfishly in the success of another, we have developed a positive team spirit.
Through soccer, or futsal in this case, what we built with the kids at Orca was community. They kept waking up early because they felt like they belonged to something. Indeed they do. We tried to nurture their understanding and appreciation of relationships (especially spatial relationships) with their classmates in order to help them work in concert with their team to accomplish an objective (scoring a goal). But the real success wasn’t simply what they learned to do in our class. As exciting as it was to see them combine with teammates to score goals in the gym, what was perhaps more poignant was to see them sitting in the cafeteria together immediately after class. We saw connections happening that might not have otherwise been made between children from wildly different backgrounds.
Several years ago, during a coaching course I attended run by U.S. Soccer, I asked one of the instructors whether or not he ever found himself sick of constantly analyzing and critiquing the game. I asked him how he is able to coach at a high level and still retain the joy and the magic inherent in innocent play. His response has stuck with me to this day and my experiences thus far have proved his words to be prophetic. Nodding his head in acknowledgement of my questions, he took a moment, smiled, and replied, “I find myself attracted to people and their stories. When you attach yourself to the lives of others, you recognize that it’s not really about formations or tactics; it’s about connecting with people, learning from them, and helping them grow in the process. That’s where the magic of coaching is, in getting to know people.”
As a full-time coach now, I’m constantly reminded of that conversation with my instructor. I also recall the wise words of W.E.B. Du Bois with regards to how people relate to one another (or fail to) in our society. Throughout the book, The Souls of Black Folk, Du Bois makes the point that part of what ails the country, and makes it impossible to realize “justice for all”, is the profound inability—or refusal—of people in power to see black and brown people as human beings. Non-whites are human beings every bit as flawed and imperfect as those who insist on being their masters. Yet, the tragedy as Du Bois put it, is that “men know so little of men”, which means that to make substantive change would require us all, especially those of us with privilege, to actually look our boogeyman square in the face and figure out why we created him.
If people don’t take the time to truly understand one another, or even understand the roots of their own personal behavior, then they never realize how much they have in common with folks they claim to despise. The irony of course is that we’re all part of the same fragile species and headed towards the same mortal fate. Current events constantly show us that a lack of awareness and compassion can lead to grotesque misconceptions and violent xenophobia. In too many episodes to count we can see that the refusal to see the humanity in another is the ultimate crime. In a violently racist, sexist, and homophobic society, the itch to blame the victim for their plight and the inability to recognize the human soul shields those with privilege from facing what they know to be a terrifying reality. Whatever preventable horror befalls one of us in society, regardless of how some might justify it, the evil corrupts and implicates us all.
Therefore, it isn’t a stretch to say that what we are actually teaching young kids through sports is to recognize and affirm the humanity in others. We are teaching them how to think, feel, and act beyond their own self interest in order to be a part of a stronger whole. At least, this is what we should be teaching. As children grow and begin to understand their own strengths, we ask them to know their teammates, to really see them, and to trust them. Good coaches and parents have to show them that while intense competition require one to possess confidence and ferocity, it also calls for respect and humility. What better place to learn these valuable lessons than through a fun game? Instead of thinking about trophies and tournament wins for 9-year olds, how about we focus on whether or not they actually know how to relate to one another in a positive way. What if we taught them that the game isn't about how many times they personally get the ball, but rather how they contribute to the collective effort to get the ball into the goal. One is a selfish pursuit, the other requires them to know and be at peace with how to be in solidarity with others.
When we emphasize training character in this way, mistakes will be made, games will be lost, and physical pain will be endured. Yet, through all of the trials and tribulations—and perhaps because of them—each individual who invests their heart and invests their mind for the benefit of the group is personally enriched in return. In this way, The Rising Point is committed to creating an atmosphere where young people can explore and discover their strengths. When our children learn how to extend their awareness, competence, and enthusiasm towards others, we have trained and strengthened souls. We have built something special. This is the beloved community and it’s definitely worth fighting for.
* In loving memory of a woman who exemplified selflessness and was the embodiment of love and community in action. She was my grandmother, a pillar of strength for many, and the absolute queen of her family. May she rest in peace.
Maria Ngosa Chibamba Kayula
1939 - 2017
